A Different Way

leturos

An unquiet mind

Bloganuary writing prompt
What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?
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I don’t want to lose my mind. It’s my greatest fear. I’ve lost it before. I’ve been on the edge for years. Thinking to deeply, even when clean, can lead me to places, I wish I’d not seen. I was born with an unquiet mind. A mind to which I’ve been far less than kind.

It’s more complicated than that but the verse probably gets the idea across.

The stories cannot be told in one post. Some will never be told at all. There will be glimpses, perhaps. I just can’t let myself fall.

Or fail.

Again.

leturos
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9 responses to “An unquiet mind”

  1. Susan Taylor Avatar
    Susan Taylor

    Such depths are intimated here. Great post.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  2. shredbobted Avatar
    shredbobted

    How are you feeling today? Okay?

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. leturos Avatar
      leturos

      I’m well. Writing about it wasn’t easy. It’s why I wrote it the way I did. I don’t think about the past too often but it’s always with me. I live a life balance, it’s just not always a struggle. I got emotional after I posted. I don’t usually get emotional.

      I went out and bought some mulch to freshen our landscaping. I talked with a former coworker for a while and we laughed. Today is a good day.

      Thanks for asking.

      Liked by 3 people

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      1. Sandi Staton Avatar
        Sandi Staton

        I like that! It’s really tough exposing your heart and soul; makes you feel naked, cold, and alone. Writing is good for us. It helps keep us sane. It also brings back memories that make us cry so that we can heal. We don’t want to face the demons of the past, but in order to heal, we have to. Remember this, you are stronger than you think. You survived the past, and you will survive the now, and the tomorrow’s ahead.

        Liked by 2 people

  3. shredbobted Avatar
    shredbobted

    From Abbie’s Tree House here on WordPress:

    ”Leave your front door and your back door open

    Allow your thoughts to come and go

    Just don’t serve them tea”

    —Shunryu Suzuki

    Liked by 2 people

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    1. leturos Avatar
      leturos

      Truth

      Liked by 1 person

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  4. Sandi Staton Avatar
    Sandi Staton

    Wow! I can so relate to your post! The mind has so much power over us that it is very scary. As a Christian, I have to let God help me. It’s too big to tame on my own. I’ve been on the brink of insantity so many times that I thought I was never coming back. The more I allow God to help me, the better I am getting. Blessings to you!

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. leturos Avatar
      leturos

      Someday I’ll probably write about my experiences in that area. Some of it will be difficult to easily explain. There are some things I’ll never understand.

      Liked by 1 person

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      1. Sandi Staton Avatar
        Sandi Staton

        There are things I still don’t understand. But, as time went on, I’ve made peace with that. I’ve come to the conclusion that most of what happened to us in the past wasn’t because there was something wrong with us. The wrong was in thoes who hurt us. Instead, we go through life blaming ourselves when none of it was our fault.

        Liked by 1 person

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