When I was a child, my family traveled to my maternal grandmother’s house for all the major holidays except Christmas. We’d pile into the family station wagon and drive several hours to a small city outside of Buffalo, NY.
There was always soup on the stove when we arrived at my grandmother’s house, usually sometime around 11 PM. We’d each have a bowl then my siblings and I would go to sleep while our parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and great aunts and uncles talked, ate, and drank.
The house would be full of all of these relatives and our cousins on whatever holiday we were celebrating at the time, whether it was Thanksgiving, New Years Day, Easter, or another holiday. We’d eat a lot and crowd into my grandmother’s living room to watch television. My great grandmother was alive then and we’d always visit her small home before returning to our home.
When I was in my teens my grandmother started spending her winters in Florida, so we stopped getting together for most of the holidays. Sometimes we’d travel to Florida where my father’s parents lived during the winter and see both sets of grandparents.
When I was in college, my parents would host family gatherings. They were smaller gatherings, only my parents, sisters, and their growing families. After college, I moved away from my home state. I only saw my family at Christmas when I lived far from home. When I lived closer, I’d visit more often. The traditional meals mostly ended.
There were a few large gatherings that included my siblings and our children spending time at my parents’ home at Christmas after that time. They didn’t happen every year. After my father died in 2000, we’ve never all been in the same place at the same time.
Now, my sister’s children have their own families, and my children are scattered around the country. My oldest sister lives nearby and we visit my mother at Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter. My wife and I also visit her mother a few times a year. Our children are living their own lives. We never hosted our own traditional meals, and it’s unlikely we’ll start.
After our mother’s die, my wife and I will probably spend our holidays alone. For us, tradition has faded. Soon, other than the Christmas decorating my wife does, our traditions will end.
A Different Way 
Leave a comment